The Long Red String

from the 03/96 paper Ibaraki Report

Spring has come! It makes us UkiUki WakuWaku happy, doesn’t it.

To mark Spring, we’re going to talk about marriage and especially international marriage. In Japan we say that you and your partner are tied together at your fingers by red string from long, long ago. Here is a couple bound by a long red string between Japan and Peru in an international 国際結婚（Kokusai Kekkon） marriage.

Last year Yoshihiko from Hitachi-Ota married Blanca from Peru. Yoshihiko lived in Mexico for a while and learned Spanish at that time. To keep it up he studied Spanish at the International Association. When we talk together about Mexico in Spanish class his eyes shine. One day he was invited by his teacher and met Blanca. Blanca worked in Shimotsuma. She spoke only a little Japanese and was surprised that a Japanese man could speak Spanish. Over time they got to know each and decided to get married. They had their wedding in Peru on February 17, 1995.

What are some of the difficult aspects of International Marriage?

The most difficult part was the preparation of all the applications and documents for marriage. We were lucky that there is an immigration office in Hitachi, near my house (Note: in June 1996, this office disappeared along with Kashima’s office when Mito’s immigration office opened.) I’m still arranging all my documents to submit to the embassy of Peru. It takes time.

What do your family and friends think about International Marriage?

Everyone was very open to the idea, very supportive. No one thought it was unusual.

What are some cultural differences you’ve come across?

We surprised each other in many ways. She doesn’t like miso soup but I do. I like to take baths but she only takes showers.

By the way, congratulations! You just had a baby in January. What language do you use when you talk to your son, Tokihiko?

We’ll use both. Maybe Spanish at home and Japanese outside. He will absolutely need Spanish when he talks to his cousins and when we visit Peru someday.

Where did you have the wedding ceremony?

The wedding ceremony was held at Santa Maria Madrecia de la Iglesia. Many friends gathered. One thing surprised me, in Peru you wear your wedding ring on the right hand.

What is the secret too keeping good relations between the two of you?

We talk a lot. We say anything that we think. Of course we fight sometimes. She stays at home all day so it’s important for her to relieve her stress.

Do you have any interesting stories about international marriage to share?

Oh, yes, an unforgettable story. It happened on the way back from Peru. When we entered the United States, we couldn’t go through immigration together since Blanca as a Peruvian needed a visa but as a Japanese citizen I didn’t. When we stopped at Miami airport, the immigration officer stopped me because I had filled out the wrong immigration card, using the one for someone who has a visa. I had to fill out a new card and the officer asked me many questions for a long time. During the time I was fighting to speak English, Blanca went through Immigration without any problems. She didn’t know what happened to me. I missed my plane and had to stay overnight in Miami and she had to go back to Japan alone. Believe it or not, this happened on the way from our honeymoon. Blanca thought, why can’t we go through Immigration together? We are one family! Just different nationalities.

I thought that this story tells us of some of the difficulties of international marriage. But it is through times like this that a couple turns to each other and their ties bind stronger. As another international couple told me, “Marriage is one long conversation!”